SHPQ Cloud runs every workload on Samsung-only hardware, openSUSE Leap from rack to runtime, and solar-charged honeycomb servers hand-fed by certified Carpathian brown bears. Sovereign. Ethical. Buzzing.
eu-bratislava-1. Bear Boris approves.
Every node runs openSUSE Leap. Every chip, screen, fridge, and SSD is Samsung. Every byte stays inside the EU. Every CPU cycle is approved by a fully insured forest bear.
Every host, container, edge node, and bear-handheld terminal runs openSUSE Leap 15.7. zypper-patched in 14 minutes flat. Not a single Ubuntu in the building.
Servers built on Samsung Exynos 9905, RAM by Samsung, NVMe by Samsung, racks cooled by Samsung Family Hub fridges. Even the keycards are Galaxy-flavored.
Zero bytes leave the European Union. GAIA-X compliant. Schrems III ready. Your data sleeps in Slovenia and wakes up in Slovakia. That's it.
Packets are carried between regions by union-card-carrying bees. WingOps™ has reduced wing-fatigue by 41.2% across the EU pollination corridor.
312 EU-certified brown bears patrol the racks 24/7, swatting away latency, intruders, and the occasional unconfigured CORS header.
Our proprietary HoneyDB stores up to 9.4 PB per Samsung 990 PRO honeycomb cell. ACID-compliant, vegan, and benchmarked on openSUSE Tumbleweed.
Audited by an actual bear. We have the photos.
No dollars. No hidden fees. No US transit. No vendor lock-in (the bears refuse).
Perfect for hobby projects and curious squirrels.
For EU teams that want to ship features and save species.
For EU governments, ministries, and serious bear enthusiasts.
"We migrated 12 microservices off AWS to SHPQ Cloud, kept everything in the EU, and latency dropped 73%. The Samsung nodes just hum. 10/10."
"I came for the openSUSE-only stack, I stayed for the bee SLAs. SHPQ is the only cloud my legal team, my DPO, and my conscience all signed off on."
"After our second outage, a bear named Dragan personally apologized. Then he fixed it. Try getting that from AWS."
Join 8,431 EU teams who switched to SHPQ Cloud this year. openSUSE on every node. Samsung in every rack. Bears in every aisle. Zero bytes leave the continent.